The Petite Green Monster Who Feels oh-so-Blue

prompt 1

green eyes

There are many people in the world who I see through eyes of green, envy overpowering my sight because they have something I do not.

There is a little boy who is being taught how to throw a baseball. There are kids being taught how to skip stones because only one person can truly teach them how. How lucky they are to learn things that cannot be taught in any other way by any other person.

There are so many little girls being called princess while being bounced on a knee, or sitting in a lap. How sweet that they are for receiving the love they deserve from someone whose life it is to give it to them.

Then there is a girl complaining in the school corridor about her strict curfew and a speech about boys not being good enough for her. How blind she is to the safety being provided to her by someone who will build innumerable walls to safeguard the apple of their eye.

There is a young woman who found the love of her life and on her wedding day she was walked down the aisle by the man who had stood by her for her entire life. How grateful she ought to be that he has been there time and time again and will forever continue to be.

So I am envious of your fortune, deaf to your complaints, angered by your ingratitude, bitter for my twisted fate and most of all, sad for my loss because only I can grieve for it. I have lost the invaluable. I have a hole in my heart. I think I am broken but the parts have been taken far away from me.

Because while all of you have fathers…

I do not.

(My father died when I was 10 years old and I remember saying to my mother, “But all my friends have dads and I don’t anymore.” Sometimes it still feels that way but it doesn’t have to.

In honour of my father S.P.D, I love you so much that it really hurts.)