Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
So it’s Fathers Day and yes, I’m bitter. I’ll be honest, I hate this holiday and Mother’s Day as well (even the woman who came up with Mother’s Day hated what it became). Not that I don’t love my parents but the fact that these days can be tough for some of us. There are those who’ve lost a parent and are reminded of that loss on days like this, forced to scroll through heartfelt messages addressed to a loved mom or dad on the likes of Facebook. Then there are those people who don’t have a good relationship with their parents and may feel forced to say something cliched about their mom or dad so that they aren’t shamed into feeling like unappreciative children. It’s okay to not love a parent simply because of blood relation. If someone expresses hate for a parent don’t dismiss it. It’s not easy to understand but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. My basic point is that not everyone is happy on these days.
But I can’t say stop being so optimistic and sentimental to those who don’t have these issues. That’s where the conundrum lies. How to be happy for others and not be unhappy about yourself. I have to say it’s a hard thread to weave.
It may not be nice or rational or fair but if I’m being brutally honest half of me thinks like this:
I don’t want to see your selfies with your fathers on Facebook, how much you love them and appreciate them, what struggles they’ve gone through to support you or anything at all. Do you know what it’s like to see that influx and not be able to participate? It feels like the void you’ve been working to patch up has ripped open all over again.
and the other half thinks like this:
It must be nice to take pictures with your dad and post about it, tagging him. What would my dad’s Facebook profile have looked like? Would he have one at all or would he despise it? What would I have gotten him as a gift? What would I say to him?
I still don’t know how to deal with this problem when Fathers Day rolls around every year. I guess I still have to work on it.
In actuality this post started out as a generic Happy Fathers Day one, with me looking up quotes to use. I didn’t find anything that really spoke to me. It’s unfair that there are few sentimental musings about fathers but an abundance for mothers. I’ve never liked the inequality in how societies tend to underrate the role of a father in a child’s life and overrate that of a mother’s. Halfway along the way of writing this post I realised I was just doing so to conform to the overall positive norm of the holiday. That’s why I wanted to be honest instead. For god sake we need more of that. Be real.
p.s No offence meant to those who post on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, just what it’s like to see it from a fatherless individual’s perspective. I’d never wish anyone to lose someone and feel this way, not even my enemies. My opinions aren’t meant to insult or offend and I’m sorry if they do but that’s just how I feel and it won’t change.