Odds

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My mind and my brain are forever at odds
Like finicky children sitting in the corner
Of a hideous room painted canary yellow.
While circadian rhythm dictates sleep
My thoughts are on the figures of a TV screen
Activating suprachiasmatic nuclei
the way a shot of vodka does my nerves.

Twenty five hours reduced to twenty four
but I could have used those extra sixty
minutes thinking about absolutely
nothing.
And it would make a whole
lot of difference when the first hour
comes rolling around at the sound
of a muffled alarm
Rousing sleepy eyes…
But bright eyes.
Chances are the monotony
Will be infinitesiminally bearable.

I’ll take those odds any day.

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The Mental Health Diaries- Challenging Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is common to all of us be it at a certain point in our lives or characteristic of a particular mental illness such as an anxiety disorder and depression. It’s important to identify your negative thoughts and challenge them before they impact your life. While at my internship, I was reading about different questions we can use to counteract these negative thoughts and here they are some:

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Credits:

Backgrounds: Tumblr and Google Images 

Questions: Edited by me :)

3 days, 3 quotes Day 3

Bill from Perks of Being a Wallflower may have become well known for the quote ‘We accept the love we think we deserve.’ but I find that his most thoughtful and insightful remark was about four paragraphs earlier.

“It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”

-Stephen Chbosky

Oh how right you are Mr. Chbosky. Not to mention it’s a successful way to evade the nirvana that is a good night’s sleep. Then again it could be my TV screen activating my brain’s suprachiasmatic nuclei thus influencing my circadian rhythm…

…and once again, my thoughts have wandered.

3 days, 3 quotes Day 1

Hi so I was nominated for the 3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge by Jaisal (whose blog you should definitely check out btw) a while ago  and I’ve been slow on the promise to complete the challenge. Finally, I have resolved to begin!  The challenge is to post three quotes consecutively for three days so here goes day 1!

Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.

– Claude Monet

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This quote is succinct and powerful, resonating with me as both an admirer of art and an artist herself.  Why complicate a beautiful thing? Just loving it is enough. I think that applies to life as well. I tend to introspect and overthink too much and sometimes it’s exhausting so this quote makes a lot of sense in those times.

Anyways, I’m a little lazy to nominate so anyone who reads this can be considered a nominee :) Share your quotes with everyone, it’s fun!

Fathers Day for the Fatherless

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.

-Gloria Naylor

So it’s Fathers Day and yes, I’m bitter. I’ll be honest, I hate this holiday and Mother’s Day as well (even the woman who came up with Mother’s Day hated what it became). Not that I don’t love my parents but the fact that these days can be tough for some of us. There are those who’ve lost a parent and are reminded of that loss on days like this, forced to scroll through heartfelt messages addressed to a loved mom or dad on the likes of Facebook. Then there are those people who don’t have a good relationship with their parents and may feel forced to say something cliched about their mom or dad so that they aren’t shamed into feeling like unappreciative children. It’s okay to not love a parent simply because of blood relation. If someone expresses hate for a parent don’t dismiss it. It’s not easy to understand but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. My basic point is that not everyone is happy on these days.

But I can’t say stop being so optimistic and sentimental to those who don’t have these issues. That’s where the conundrum lies. How to be happy for others and not be unhappy about yourself. I have to say it’s a hard thread to weave.

It may not be nice or rational or fair but if I’m being brutally honest half of me thinks like this:

I don’t want to see your selfies with your fathers on Facebook, how much you love them and appreciate them, what struggles they’ve gone through to support you or anything at all. Do you know what it’s like to see that influx and not be able to participate? It feels like the void you’ve been working to patch up has ripped open all over again.

and the other half thinks like this:

It must be nice to take pictures with your dad and post about it, tagging him. What would my dad’s Facebook profile have looked like? Would he have one at all or would he despise it? What would I have gotten him as a gift? What would I say to him?

I still don’t know how to deal with this problem when Fathers Day rolls around every year. I guess I still have to work on it.

In actuality this post started out as a generic Happy Fathers Day one, with me looking up quotes to use. I didn’t find anything that really spoke to me. It’s unfair that there are few sentimental musings about fathers but an abundance for mothers. I’ve never liked the inequality in how societies tend to underrate the role of a father in a child’s life and overrate that of a mother’s. Halfway along the way of writing this post  I realised I was just doing so to conform to the overall positive norm of the holiday. That’s why I wanted to be honest instead. For god sake we need more of that. Be real.

p.s No offence meant to those who post on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, just what it’s like to see it from a fatherless individual’s perspective. I’d never wish anyone to lose someone and feel this way, not even my enemies. My opinions aren’t meant to insult or offend and I’m sorry if they do but that’s just how I feel and it won’t change.

Photography Challenge Day 30- Black and White

During the holidays I was indulging in some zentangles, discovered on Pinterest, and it’s been a great way to wile away time that would have undoubtedly been spent whining about boredom.

I did the pea-nuckle tangle in black and white and it’s one of my favourites! I’d love to become a certified zentangle teacher (CZT)!

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p.s  I am now done with the photography challenge! Woohoo

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog :)

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