Fathers Day for the Fatherless

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.

-Gloria Naylor

So it’s Fathers Day and yes, I’m bitter. I’ll be honest, I hate this holiday and Mother’s Day as well (even the woman who came up with Mother’s Day hated what it became). Not that I don’t love my parents but the fact that these days can be tough for some of us. There are those who’ve lost a parent and are reminded of that loss on days like this, forced to scroll through heartfelt messages addressed to a loved mom or dad on the likes of Facebook. Then there are those people who don’t have a good relationship with their parents and may feel forced to say something cliched about their mom or dad so that they aren’t shamed into feeling like unappreciative children. It’s okay to not love a parent simply because of blood relation. If someone expresses hate for a parent don’t dismiss it. It’s not easy to understand but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. My basic point is that not everyone is happy on these days.

But I can’t say stop being so optimistic and sentimental to those who don’t have these issues. That’s where the conundrum lies. How to be happy for others and not be unhappy about yourself. I have to say it’s a hard thread to weave.

It may not be nice or rational or fair but if I’m being brutally honest half of me thinks like this:

I don’t want to see your selfies with your fathers on Facebook, how much you love them and appreciate them, what struggles they’ve gone through to support you or anything at all. Do you know what it’s like to see that influx and not be able to participate? It feels like the void you’ve been working to patch up has ripped open all over again.

and the other half thinks like this:

It must be nice to take pictures with your dad and post about it, tagging him. What would my dad’s Facebook profile have looked like? Would he have one at all or would he despise it? What would I have gotten him as a gift? What would I say to him?

I still don’t know how to deal with this problem when Fathers Day rolls around every year. I guess I still have to work on it.

In actuality this post started out as a generic Happy Fathers Day one, with me looking up quotes to use. I didn’t find anything that really spoke to me. It’s unfair that there are few sentimental musings about fathers but an abundance for mothers. I’ve never liked the inequality in how societies tend to underrate the role of a father in a child’s life and overrate that of a mother’s. Halfway along the way of writing this post  I realised I was just doing so to conform to the overall positive norm of the holiday. That’s why I wanted to be honest instead. For god sake we need more of that. Be real.

p.s No offence meant to those who post on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, just what it’s like to see it from a fatherless individual’s perspective. I’d never wish anyone to lose someone and feel this way, not even my enemies. My opinions aren’t meant to insult or offend and I’m sorry if they do but that’s just how I feel and it won’t change.

Photography Challenge Day 30- Black and White

During the holidays I was indulging in some zentangles, discovered on Pinterest, and it’s been a great way to wile away time that would have undoubtedly been spent whining about boredom.

I did the pea-nuckle tangle in black and white and it’s one of my favourites! I’d love to become a certified zentangle teacher (CZT)!

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p.s  I am now done with the photography challenge! Woohoo

Picture Prose- Electric Wires and Cirrus

I look up to see electric wires criss-cross on the cloudy canvas, slashing at cirrus like permanent ink lines, the view from the second floor. 

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Twenty nine steps higher and the sky is sliced in half with the crooked slants of rooftops like teeth in a tart. 

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It is these sorts of days that the clouds look almost alive, drifting and aimless much like I am, no place of their own. 

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But that’s the thing about drifting, it’ll take you places you never knew before. Chances are, one will feel like home.

Kitchen Crusades

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As a night owl, I have this sudden burst of productivity in the wee hours of 2 or 3 in the morning and so I wander into the kitchen, curious to cook up something new. I find I do much better in the kitchen when unsupervised since I’d rather make mistakes and learn from them than listen to my mom’s meticulous instructions. This is how my sporadic interest in cooking began and now I feel like cooking more often especially with my new found love of chopping vegetables. Starting out with basic level food, I’m not as terrible as I’d envisaged.  I’ve come to realise that there’s no better feeling than cooking for the people you care about ( if the dish turns out well, that is) :D

Personality Type

So I found these quizzes and decided to pass the time by taking them and here are the results. They clash quite a bit, one saying I’m a people person, the other saying I’m not but then again, it’s not like they’re all reliable. Go ahead and try them for fun though!

Zodiac Sign: Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio |Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces |

Myers-Briggs: ESFP | ISFP | ESTP | ISTP | ESTJ | ISTJ | ESFJ | ISFJ | ENFJ | INFJ | ENFP | INFP | ENTP | INTP | ENTJ | INTJ|

Four Temperaments: Sanguine | Melancholic | Choleric | Phlegmatic

Celtic Zodiac: Birch (The Achiever) | Rowan (The Thinker) | Ash (The Enchanter) | Alder (The Trailblazer) | Willow (The Observer) | Hawthorne (The Illusionist) | Oak (The Stabilizer) | Holly (The Ruler) | Hazel (The Knower) | Vine (The Equalizer) | Ivy (The Survivor) | Reed (The Inquisitor) |Elder (The Seeker) |

Soul Type (one test): Hunter | Caregiver | Creator | Thinker | Helper | Educator | Performer |Leader | Spiritualist |

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor | Hufflepuff | Ravenclaw | Slytherin |

Dark Triad: Psychopathy | Machiavellianism | Narcissism |

The Animal in You: Lion | Tiger | Dolphin | Bear | Wild Cat | Fox | Weasel | Badger | Dog | Otter | Wolf | Sea Lion | Wild Dog | Walrus | Gorilla | Deer | Rhinoceros | Hippo | Sable | Horse | Sheep | Mountain Goat | Warthog | Zebra | Baboon | Elephant | Bison | Giraffe | Cottontail | Mole | Bat | Porcupine | Beaver | Prairie Dog | Shrew | Mouse | Eagle | Rooster |Owl | Swan | Peacock | Vulture | Penguin | Crocodile | Snake |

Life Path Number: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 11 | 22 |

Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |

Brain Lateralization Test: Left | Right | Middle (Tie)

Art Journal- My Other Half and Paris

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While I daydream of Laduree, cobble stone streets and delectable macarons on a warm afternoon in class, the other half of me was left behind this morning, dozing in bed, perpetually asleep. I’m half here and half there but never truly anywhere. One half longs for Paris, the other for a warm blanket covering my tired bones as the rain washes my windows clean, because oh who am I kidding, when would I ever bother to do it myself?

-VD

Thoughts on Game of Thrones: The Dance of Dragons

Warning: Spoilers and honest opinion ahead

Frankly, season 5 of GoT hasn’t been my favourite although that isn’t to say it hasn’t shocked me, especially episode 9. Here’s my take on it:

1. I am absolutely disinterested in Arya’s storyline this season, although there’s a blip in my curiosity now that Ser Meryn Trant has come to Bravos. Finally, I feel like she’s going to do something interesting.

2. Shireen’s death seemed to alert everyone to how cruel and sadistic Stannis can be but I always felt that was apparent. It wasn’t as if he suddenly started making fanatical religious sacrifices to the God of Light. He’d burned many before his daughter and killed his own brother in a dishonorable way( I really liked Renly). He’s wrapped around Melisandre’s twisted fingers and is willing to do anything to win besides actually fighting his battles and conquering. I don’t know why Stannis was ever the Mannis when all he ever did was sacrifice others to further his cause instead of dealing with it head on. Also, that glimmer of love he seemed to have for Shireen conflicts with his actions in ways I can’t seem to reconcile. Selyse surprised me too.

3. Why sacrifice another female character (Shireen) to further a male character’s development(Stannis)? It’s already been done this season with Sansa and Ramsey. Though Sansa’s rape wasn’t out of the ordinary what with all the rape and violence on GoT, it felt unnecessary. At this rate, I expect every female charcter to be brutalized at some point or the other. Come up with something else to cook up drama.

4. I feel terrible for Davos and wonder how he’ll react to Shireen’s death. Their relationship was one of the few heart warming one’s in this brutally cold TV show.

5. I was terrified that Jorah would die and for once, I was not made to mourn yet another of my favourite characters (they’re really dwindling now). But he’s still going to die of grayscale :(

6. I feel disappointed that after such a great stint as Hand of the King and being a very interesting character, Tyrion has blanched this season into a gift being shipped across the sea, getting lost somewhere along the way but then finally reaching the recipient. Season 3 and 4 Tyrion was my favourite and I want him back. But I do like how he’s fighting a bit more. Go Tyrion.

7. Drogon and Dany flying off with Tyrion. Daario, Jorah and Mellisandei watching was a great way to end the show. It gave me goosebumps. Brilliant. (Although, Dany maybe you should give your friends a lift too?)

4 out of 5 dentists recommend this blog :)

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