Category Archives: Social

I rescind my predetermined admission to Lady 101, thank you very much.

Women are taught a lot. Close your legs. Don’t laugh too loudly. Serve dinner to the men and children. Don’t wear shorts or skirts (exposed skin is after all a sin, oh my). Make yourself smaller for the man, don’t bruise his ego. It’s like we have been indoctrinated into this life long course of ‘Lady 101’. How to behave, what to do, what not to do, what is becoming of a woman or a lady and what we should do to be liked by others, especially men. It’s perpetual and chronic.

This is some of what Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘We Should All be Feminists’ discusses. Recently I had a chance to read the essay and I found it evocative and enraging all at once. Evocative of nuanced interactions informed by gender binaries and enraging at the injustices of gender today. Some passages of her essay really struck me and had me itching to write a piece on. If you’d like to feel evoked and enraged (like me), please read on.

Man and money

I was impressed with the particular theatrics of the man who found us a parking spot that evening. And so as we were leaving, I decided to give him a tip. I opened my bag, put my hand inside my bag to get my money, and I gave it to the man. And he, this man who was happy and grateful, took the money from me, and then looked across at Louis and said, ‘Thank you, sah!’

Louis looked at me, surprised, and asked, ‘Why is he thanking me? I didn’t give him the money.’ Then I saw realization dawn on Louis’s face. The man believed that whatever money I had ultimately came from Louis. Because
Louis is a man.

It is unsurprising that I have had similar experiences. I can tell you that I’ve been on dates where waiters automatically hand the check over to my boyfriend, assuming that, of course, the man pays. It’s a gendered assumption that is a product of our society. Money comes from men. It stings when they thank him even when I’m the one who paid the bill. Where is my thanks? Apparently women aren’t privy to such luxuries. How infuriating these little transactions are, the ones that are hardly noticed from the lens of male privilege. I often feel slighted in these dining scenarios and have learned to sweep it under the rug. I really shouldn’t any more. Or at all.

The Angry Woman

Not long ago, I wrote an article about being young and female in Lagos.
And an acquaintance told me that it was an angry article, and I should not
have made it so angry. But I was unapologetic. Of course it was angry.
Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be

…Anger, the tone said, is particularly not good for a woman. If you
are a woman, you are not supposed to express anger, because it is threatening.

Anger, I have often been told by my mother, is not appropriate to show. Though she doesn’t say it aloud, I know it’s because I’m a woman. I doubt she ever told my father his displays of anger were inappropriate (In fact, I always think of my anger as inherited from my father and his side of the family, the ones with fury running in their veins.).

Yes I am an angry woman. I feel comfortable with this emotion. I feel it very strongly and it can consume me. Yet, the societal constraint of women not being able to show their anger can lead to its suppression. And this is dangerous. God forbid we turn it on ourselves. And why should we? I know I do this often, redirect my anger towards myself and apart from it being a defense, it’s also heavily influenced by gender and socialisation. I am tired of it. I would like my anger and rage to be taken as seriously as a man’s. I don’t want to be told to calm down. I want someone to do something about my anger, the way I’ve seen women in my life rushing to do just that for an angry man.

The Sexual Woman

We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we
have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’
boyfriends? God forbid. (But we of course expect them to bring home the
perfect man for marriage when the time is right.)

Something that was a struggle within my relationship was this balance of supposed masculinity, feminity, female and male and so on. My boyfriend and I had dichotomised these things so much that we felt we were not what we were supposed to be, he the feminine and myself the masculine.  But who said we are either/or? We did. We fell into that trap. But society and culture has laid the trap.

One of my biggest struggles was acknowledging my sexual side and high sexual drive (my partner and I had both agreed mine was higher between the two of us). This meant I initiated and wanted sex more often and traditionally, we see this as a ‘male thing to do’. I felt like the man making the moves. I hated thinking of it that way and have come to terms with being a sexual woman rather than identiying my sexual side as masculine.

Because at the end of the day, women have the same sexual desires as men. The only difference is we are not encouraged or made to feel comfortable showing it, expressing it or wanting it (by society, culture etc.). After all, who wants to be called a whore or a slut for liking sex? No woman. 


And what infuriates me further is that we women do this to ourselves. We internalise these rules, the shoulds and should nots and we pass them on, from grandmother to grandaughter, mother to daughter, friend to friend, aunt to niece. Enough now. I don’t see the men teaching each other this crap.

So I refuse to be a student of ‘Lady 101’ from now on.

And yes I am angry as I write this. I will be angry every time these constraints are laid on me or I hear of them being laid on someone else. Because as Chimamanda said, “Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change.”

I hope my anger fuels positive change. It would be a shame for it all to be in vain.


Your toes are tapping with the thrum of of the undiscovered, alive to the tune of the unprecedented. Walk.

Streams split ahead much like thoughts in your mind, whispering and clear. Wade in.

The world is whipping by, as smoking rooms, dingy classes and cinema halls whirl into one another, like a dream, translucent and wispy. Wander.

Most of all, be fascinated with the mosaics before you, filtering sunlight into shards for you to catch. Wonder.

Warning: Don’t be fooled when Feminazism dresses up as Feminism

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old schoolmate of mine and it was eye-opening in a frustrating way. What started out as small talk eventually became a heated debate as the topic shifted to gender equality and this is one I’m extremely vocal about and will fight you on, no matter who you are, friend or foe.

Feminism is so often misunderstood and it’s time we put that to bed. When I heard this schoolmate of mine say, “There’s a very thin line between feminism and feminazism.” I did just that and if I’m viewed as being a ‘feminazi’ to speak unabashedly about this issue, that’s alright. Because it needs to be said.

Feminism is gender equality yet what has sprouted from this most necessary and important movement is a pejoratively popularised branch called Feminazism which, on the other hand, is more radical and typified by the media as the promotion of women’s rights over men’s.  Feminism and feminazism are not the same thing, and to me, the line is very clear. It is a bright red divisor, between a land of equal opportunity and that of inequality.

Simply put,  if patriarchal society were an hourglass where the top glass bulb representing men, provides for and supersedes the second glass bulb representing women, then feminazism is the movement trying to invert that hour glass. Feminism, however, wants to break it… not only for women, but men too. That’s also often overlooked.

When this guy began ranting about ungrateful girls using feminism to get whatever they want, saying that women expect too much from men, in terms of paying for dinner and it’s not fair, it sounded to me as if he was likening feminism to a gift card cashed in by women for privilege. And the very example he gave was perfect to highlight how feminism impacts all genders.

There’s always two sides to the story and I understand why men may feel less than enthused when they have to pay the bill when out on a date. They feel the need to be the chivalrous gentleman and pay for the entire meal because of gender stereotypes such as ‘a man must provide or it is seen as sign of weakness’. And yes, I will not deny that women take advantage of that. But there are also men who refuse when a woman wants to pay, because of the same societal standard.  See how it swings both way? This is just the tip of the iceberg.

The main problem men seem to have with feminazism charading as feminism is how it is being misused. To that, I have to say this: Of course there are always those who will take advantage of their rights and privileges. Yet we cannot generalise beyond such circumstances. Feminism is much bigger than going out to dinner and debating over who should pay for it. It’s everywhere, both subtle and blatant, whether you’re in tune to that or not.

Fathers Day for the Fatherless

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.

-Gloria Naylor

So it’s Fathers Day and yes, I’m bitter. I’ll be honest, I hate this holiday and Mother’s Day as well (even the woman who came up with Mother’s Day hated what it became). Not that I don’t love my parents but the fact that these days can be tough for some of us. There are those who’ve lost a parent and are reminded of that loss on days like this, forced to scroll through heartfelt messages addressed to a loved mom or dad on the likes of Facebook. Then there are those people who don’t have a good relationship with their parents and may feel forced to say something cliched about their mom or dad so that they aren’t shamed into feeling like unappreciative children. It’s okay to not love a parent simply because of blood relation. If someone expresses hate for a parent don’t dismiss it. It’s not easy to understand but that doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. My basic point is that not everyone is happy on these days.

But I can’t say stop being so optimistic and sentimental to those who don’t have these issues. That’s where the conundrum lies. How to be happy for others and not be unhappy about yourself. I have to say it’s a hard thread to weave.

It may not be nice or rational or fair but if I’m being brutally honest half of me thinks like this:

I don’t want to see your selfies with your fathers on Facebook, how much you love them and appreciate them, what struggles they’ve gone through to support you or anything at all. Do you know what it’s like to see that influx and not be able to participate? It feels like the void you’ve been working to patch up has ripped open all over again.

and the other half thinks like this:

It must be nice to take pictures with your dad and post about it, tagging him. What would my dad’s Facebook profile have looked like? Would he have one at all or would he despise it? What would I have gotten him as a gift? What would I say to him?

I still don’t know how to deal with this problem when Fathers Day rolls around every year. I guess I still have to work on it.

In actuality this post started out as a generic Happy Fathers Day one, with me looking up quotes to use. I didn’t find anything that really spoke to me. It’s unfair that there are few sentimental musings about fathers but an abundance for mothers. I’ve never liked the inequality in how societies tend to underrate the role of a father in a child’s life and overrate that of a mother’s. Halfway along the way of writing this post  I realised I was just doing so to conform to the overall positive norm of the holiday. That’s why I wanted to be honest instead. For god sake we need more of that. Be real.

p.s No offence meant to those who post on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, just what it’s like to see it from a fatherless individual’s perspective. I’d never wish anyone to lose someone and feel this way, not even my enemies. My opinions aren’t meant to insult or offend and I’m sorry if they do but that’s just how I feel and it won’t change.

Inspirational Celebs

While celebrity culture today often gets out of hand, there are still some who make  wonderful role models:

Emma Watson

As if playing Hermione Granger wasn’t enough of a reason for me to adore Emma Watson, she’s shown the world that education doesn’t have to be ousted by a career in the film industry.

“Acting and studying are in no way mutually exclusive, are they?” -Emma

Studying while filming  the HP movies, she received straight A’s in her A-levels, demonstrating how similar she is to her character. Graduating from Brown University in 2014, she’s very vocal about how important education is for anyone and everyone.

I found a post about how Emma’s dad  had saved money to send her to a good private school even when times were tough. Fully aware and appreciative of this, she only asked for the school uniform as her birthday present. That, to me, says a lot about her priorities.

“It sounds so geeky, but I really do like studying and reading, and if I’m not working on Harry Potter, then my greatest relaxation is to sit with a book. That’s how I escape stress—in literature.” -Emma

Apart from this, she’s now a UN Goodwill Ambassador fighting for gender equality via the HeforShe Campaign. Her first speech at the UN was educating as well simple, like a stepping stone into the complexity of feminism.

Kalki Koechlin

Kalki makes her point in different ways and that’s why she’s so interesting to watch or read about. Her monologue last Women’s Day about India’s patriarchal society and life as a woman deserves to be remembered once again. That wasn’t, however, the only time she spoke up about women’s issues. In a video titled ‘Rape? It’s Your Fault Women’, she sarcastically points out how ridiculous it is that women are to blame for rape instead of the rapist himself.

It’s clear that she’s not a poster feminist and that genuinely knows what she’s talking about when it comes to women’s sexuality and struggles, pointing out that the power equation in marriages/relationships tilt in favour of men, considering how India still doesn’t have laws that support married women and that marital rape is not yet considered a crime.

Demi Lovato

We often think that inspirational people are all pros devoid of cons but Demi Lovato, in my opinion, is a great role model in how she turned her life around.  After going to rehab for alcohol and drug abuse and seeking treatment for her eating disorder, she took it upon herself to serve as a role model to others by being extremely and openly communicative of her struggles and becoming a mental health ambassador.

“I’ve been open about my struggles because part of my recovery includes being honest with myself and others, and I’m inspired to use my success as a platform to help others suffering. If you’re hurting, don’t be afraid to seek the help you need! Speak to someone — it may just change your life. As a mental health advocate, I created The Lovato Treatment Scholarship, which funds individuals that can’t afford treatment for mental illness.”- Demi

She took responsibility for past transgressions and learned how to be accountable for her actions which a lot of us still need to learn. Never does she project herself as a glamorous celebrity on stage but rather highlights how she too has flaws, making her someone we can relate to.

p.s Happy Women’s Day to everyone!

Free to be a girl

A single day out of three hundred and sixty five is celebrated as Women’s Day, and it’s made out to be a glorious twenty-four hours to commemorate the triumphs and achievements of women such as being the first to climb Mount Everest or on becoming the first female president.

These mould-breaking achievements are remarkable in the race of life, but an important one is often left unappreciated. Everyday women around the world are running a life-long marathon in interpreting and discovering their own sense of femininity and carrying it like no one else can. We are racing to the finish line, believing that somehow we will be ‘Girls’ and it is no easy feat.

A ‘Girl’ with a capital G is that woman who has poise, class, is attractive and popular and the epitome of femininity that is perpetuated through movies and the media, reinforcing the existing stereotype of what a woman ought to be or what a woman is. She is one-sided and singular in facet.

That is why the journey towards becoming this iconic form of a woman is pointless. There is no one in the world who can be a ‘Girl’. Instead, we are all girls with a small g and each one of us has the power to define what it is to be a woman in our own right.

A girl can play soccer and love chick-flicks at the same time. She can drink beer and paint her nails. She can love shopping and do her hair up in different ways. She can wear guy t-shirts and refuse to accessorise them. She can be whatever she wants.

That last part is important. It’s all about choices.

I remember once that I was asked if I played computer games by a guy and I said that I don’t. His immediate response was, “So you fall in line with that stereotype that girls can’t play video games?” to which I answered that I can certainly kick ass on a PlayStation.

Even if, suppose, I’m not very good at playing video games (as he quickly assumed), there’s no shame in it. There are definitely girls who are and aren’t. You can’t generalize from a single woman to the entire gender. It’s unacceptable to shame women for certain things that are associated as stereotypical. Just because women are stereotyped as passive doesn’t mean that we now have to be aggressive to prove that assumption wrong.

Going shopping for clothes and accessories are seen as ridiculous things that women do but on the other hand those who do not use makeup are seen as less feminine than others. It’s contradictory and unfair. If someone likes painting their nails and going to the salon, then there’s nothing wrong with that. If they don’t like accessorising or dressing up then that’s okay too. Just because a woman is homemaker does not mean she is a conformist to society’s ingrained traditional women roles. It is her choice and no one can disrespect it.

In fact, isn’t that the beauty of femininity? Its fluidity ensures that it’s always in play, never rigid. A girl is whoever she wants to be.

This realization takes time to surface because let me tell you, it is a struggle, not made any easier with people’s constant and rather unnerving judgement, but once it occurs, it’s like seeing a monochromatic world in colour for the first time in your life. Triumph lies in finding ways to be comfortable with being your own girl instead of running the race to be a ‘Girl’.

And once you figure it out…

you’re free to be.

p.s Find the strength in your femininity. Don’t disown it.

An Open Letter to Kinder Joy India

Dear Kinder Joy India,

I’d just like to say that your new Kinder Joy for Girls and for Boys, is a sore disappointment in the breaking down of gender stereotypes.

Out of curiosity about what’s inside, I  went to buy a Kinder Joy egg yesterday  and the shopkeeper asked me, “Girl or Boy?” It’s not an easy question to answer because I am biologically female but do not like girls toys. More importantly, if I were a transgender, what answer would I be able to give? None. 

I remember when I was a kid how delighted I was to buy a Kinder Joy egg, completely unaware of what sort of toy would be inside that chocolate goodness. We didn’t anticipate a feminine or masculine toy but rather a toy. That was why it was special. But as a child, if I had bought a Kinder Joy for Girls, I’d be disappointed if I received a bracelet like this:

20150304_193001 20150304_185519

Let me please remind you that there are girls who like to play with Hot Wheels (I was one) and boys who like to play with Barbies. AND THAT IS OKAY. We should be encouraging children to be themselves and if that ‘self’ is not necessarily in accordance with gender norms or roles then there’s nothing wrong with that.

Shame on you for making gender-stereotypical toys, reinforcing that line between girls and boys. As if cooties weren’t enough.


a 20-year-old outraged customer (yes I’m 20)

The Camera Phone Generation

Although revisionist tendencies cause older generations to crib about how the younger generation is lost in the world of technology, I have to agree. Suffice to say, I have a very intense love/hate relationship with technology and social media.

Yes, I do use technology and yes I can’t survive without it but part of me wonders sometimes what I would have been like if I’d grown in a pre-tech boom era because sometimes the idea sounds more and more appealing. Would I have been someone else entirely? Does social media embed itself into our self concepts?

I think Facebook in particular does.

Facebook is like a social media site that consistently freezes us in a high school mode, constantly vying for likes and garnering comments to validate self worth and when people don’t get those likes they’d hoped for, they feel disparaged. Facebook is more often than not, a place for validating ‘like’abiilty and popularity. In truth, do we really care if someone we know goes out for lunch and care enough to look at the pictures of the dishes they ate?

Another feature of Facebook that irked me was the summation of the year in a video once 2014 came to an end, irresponsibly assuming that everyone had a wonderful year to sing and reminisce about. An algorithm that makes such videos is obviously not going to select only good memories and it inevitably brings to light things that perhaps you could do without remembering.

Then there’s selfies. Yes, let’s take a bunch of pictures to validate how much fun we’re having and how we have a social life and upload them on Facebook.  Don’t get me wrong, I like taking pictures with people but sometimes it seems we’re too preoccupied with taking a picture of a good time than actually enjoying it. I find that when I’m actually having fun, selfies are the last thing on my mind. After all we’ve got memories and those are even better than pictures.

In fact I think Kit Harington said it best:

“I find it really refreshing when someone just wants to come up, shake my hand and tell me they like the show. For me that’s a nice interaction. A photo is just proof that you met me, and often you’re too busy worrying about the picture to just enjoy the chat. Camera-phones are destructive, and I do wonder about the camera-phone generation. People watch everything through this little screen – they go to concerts, and they film it. If there’s a live event on the streets at the Edinburgh Fringe, then they film that. I wonder what that does to our memory. […] One of my friends, who is also an actor, has started to say, ‘I don’t do photos, but I will give you a hug’. I’m thinking of taking that one up myself, because it shows you care about the interaction, and you appreciate the person without ruining it with a selfie.”

Well I guess Jon Snow doesn’t have to worry about all that at Castle Black. He’s got wildlings, grumkins and snarks to attend to.

Why Secret Santa is a Gamble

On the plus side:

I’ve always enjoyed the anonymity of Secret Santa. Sending your elf or snowflake a few messages and chocolate here and there while trying to remain mysterious is a lot of fun. It’s even nicer to see their faces light up when they receive whatever you’ve sent. I especially enjoyed doodling on the notes. Obviously, there’s a lot of positives… Waking up in the morning, walking grumpily to class ( because I’m anything but a morning person) and then getting Hershey’s Kisses is a good way to start the day. Plus you get to go shopping for presents! (As if I’ll need an actual reason.) And last but not least, you get presents! I got a fantastic book called The Rose Labyrinth with a few cute Harry Potter quote bookmarks. Thanks S.S.

xmas stuff

On the down side:

We forget how much of a gamble Secret Santa can be, especially if you’ve got some Grinches in class. While you’re all excited about sending little messages and chocolate to your elf or snowflake, what if someone who doesn’t care much got your name? Last year, in class there were quite a lot of people who didn’t receive any gifts from their Secret Santas so this year only people who absolutely wanted to take part are playing. Yet, my friend was continually ignored by her Secret Santa and it’s been a bummer for her because she still hasn’t gotten a gift even though everyone has already exchanged in class. Then there’s the people who are ungrateful despite being given something thoughtful which makes me question what’s happened to Christmas spirit and the whole idea that it’s the thought that counts.

So the bottom line is, if you’re going to be someone’s Secret Santa be a sport and do something nice! And if you’ve gotten something, no matter what it is, be nice!

50 Little Cures for the Common Blues

We have six basic emotions and of all of them sadness requires a combination of treatments to cure it. The traditional eating a pint of ice cream whilst sobbing on the couch just doesn’t cut it anymore (or never cut it at all, if you ask me).

So what do you do when you’re down in the doldrums? In addition to my own, I asked around and people have been kind in sharing what helps when they’re feeling a little down. Here goes…

1.) Have a Friends marathon. It’s hard not to laugh at Phoebe’s rat babies, Ross’ sandwich fiasco or Joey’s bag. Even if you feel sad again once the episode ends, just keep watching and watching. Ten whole seasons should do the trick. Plus the bloopers.

2.) Look up pictures of ‘winterscapes’, the ones with streetlights illuminating snow covered streets and Christmas lights adding colour to a white canvas of a park in the middle of winter. There’ll be cabins with fires burning brightly, looking like windows to happier times contrasted against their dank cold surroundings. Remember how the seasons merge and think ‘This too shall pass.’


3.) Take a blank white sheet and a few vibrant ink pens. Touch the nib to the page and look closely (very closely) as the ink creeps and flows across it. You don’t even need to draw anything, just repeat this and feel enthralled by the movement of ink.

4.) Lie still in bed, tucked under the sheets and close your eyes. Feel yourself, every bit from your toes to your forehead, melting into the sheets, dissolving into the warmth. (This is how I fall asleep at night and it’s a blessing.)

5.) Travel back in time to those days when getting mud stains on your clothes and cartoons on a Saturday morning were all that mattered by re-reading a childhood book, cartoon, anime or movie. ( I find Johnny Bravo, InuYasha and Harry Potter to be quite effective in this regard.)

6.) If you’re like me and don’t particularly love the chick-flick genre, watch these anyway and feel the lightness of the films: Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, It’s a Boy/Girl Thing, Kate and Leopold, 17 Again, The Devil Wears Prada. ( I love Meg Ryan rom-coms as you can see.)

7.) Enjoy the warmth of a piping hot cup of coffee or tea (whichever you like) or enjoy some soda travelling down your throat, cool and fizzy.

8.) Be grateful some people have gotten off of your roller coaster. Perhaps they were never meant to ride it all the way through or they were merely destined to fall off halfway through. Either way, only the worthy will make it through till the end with you.

9.) Listen to 8tracks playlists and be reassured by the fact that they have been made with care and the intent to comfort. This soothing study playlist is a treat for the ears and I found it better for relaxing than studying.

10.) Put on layers of clothes (sweaters, scarves, shorts and tank tops) and layers of makeup just for fun and more importantly for yourself, no one else.

11.) Paint your fingernails any colour you like, blue for the sky hanging like a sheet above your head, pink for the blushing cheeks of lovers or red for the strawberries in your frozen yogurt. Take it a step further and add designs. Be a Michelangelo with ten tiny canvases. Twenty if you add your toes.

12.) Take a black permanent marker and draw along your body, tentative tattoo designs on your wrist, ankle or even go so far as doodling an entire sleeve. Wash it off, watching the black ink dilute into purple as the water drips down onto the floor. Like washing away regret and pain, circling down the drain and forever disappearing.

13.) Don’t resort to drowning your sorrows in alcohol and excess sugar. Instead, enjoy the best of both worlds by making some banana flambe. Freak out about the flame the first time you make it and remember that feeling.  (I made this in a bar tending class and it’s amazing.)

14.) Cry (because sometimes there is nothing else to do but just that.)

15.) Stop crying and wipe your eyes on a pillow case or smear the running mascara on a two-ply tissue. That explosive ache is gone for now.

16.) Spend some time with an animal, your pet or one at a local animal shelter (cat, dog or bird etc.) because they know better about what is important in life. (Eat till you sleep and sleep till you eat.)

17.) Listen to an entire album from start to finish, one that reflects your mood. In order. Because artists put thought into that and it’d be nice to hear the tracks as it was intended. Bands I’d recommend are The Script, The 1975, Imagine Dragons, The Fray, The Killers, oh and Hans Zimmer scores. Music can do so much, take Alexander’s Feast for example.

18.) Sing along to the songs, even if you can’t sing all too well. Scream the lyrics, whisper them softly, it doesn’t matter. Connect to what you’re singing, hearing and feeling. It’s a harmonious moment.

19.) Look back at old photographs featuring friends, family and photo-bombing strangers. Laugh at the good old days or be glad the bad ones are over.

20.) After that, take lots of pictures and selfies. One day, in the future, you may need these goofy ones to make you smile when you’re down. It never hurts to plan ahead.

21.) Dance like a ballerina or a nut case but just get off your bum and move. The released endorphins should do you some good. It’s scientifically proven, after all. (Some good tunes for this are Problem, I Love it, Happy and Shake it Off, by the way.)

22.) Binge-watch Breaking Bad and be thankful that your life hasn’t been ruined by your old high school chemistry teacher like Jesse’s was.

23.) Take a hot bath or shower.

24.) Make something for someone ( a bookmark, a snack, or a sketch) and smile when their face lights up when you gift it to them.

25.) Take a nap and sleep it off.

26.) Slap some cocoa butter lotion on your hands and hold them really close to your nose. Soak up that heavenly scent.

27.) Add extra cheese and/or butter to whatever you’re eating because everything is better with butter and cheese. (Disclaimer: This only applies to food that goes with cheese and butter.)

28.) Take an old magazine and newspapers, cut out the dullest articles and make black out poetry with them. Revel at how the mundane can be made marvelous.

29.) Use an entire stick of Post-its with reckless abandon, posting them wherever you like. Write curse words and tape them to distasteful pictures of distasteful people or write motivational pick-me-ups and stick them on the wall beside your bed so you can wake up to a note from a less cranky you.

30.) Read an autobiography and know that everyone struggles and the words on those pages are so much more than that. They are someone’s life.

31.) Buy yourself something be it online or in a mall, even if it is just a pair of scissors or a glue stick.

32.) Do your hair up in funny ways. Straighten, curl and braid to your hearts content.

33.) Stalk your favourite celebrities on Tumblr (they’ve got the best pictures after all).  Find out what they’re up to even if they’re just going to Taco Bell in the afternoon.

34.) Follow a microwave mug recipe and eat it all up. Shouldn’t take too much time. (Might I suggest a microwave brownie?)

35.) Read The Perks of Being a Wallflower particularly the poem Charlie likes (I find it raw and fascinating but that’s just me) and see how it makes you feel. Interpret and connect to it instead of your own sadness.

36.) Take a coloured sheet of paper and fill it up with inspiring or funny quotes and lyrics that could get you through a run-down day. Remember those beautiful words neatly arranged before you.

37.) Look up some Youtube mash-ups featuring your favourite artists. Maybe you’ll discover some new tunes. I recently found an Ed Sheeran/ The Fray mash-up called How to Save a Small Bump. It’s beautiful. Check it out.

38.) Watch some kids play duck-duck-goose in circles or riding bicycles in the street. Remember that innocence is a blessing.

39.) Start a blog to spit out those wondrous thoughts in your head and meet people who enjoy your lovely drabble.

40.) Watch funny animal videos or GIFs. These bouncy goats are particularly hilarious.

41.) Roald Dahl wrote that his father would take his mother on ‘glorious walks’. Read this passage:

Every time my mother became pregnant, he (his father) would wait until the last three months of her pregnancy and then he would announce to her that the ‘glorious  walks’ must begin. These glorious walks consisted of him taking her to places of great beauty….His theory was that if the eye of a pregnant woman was constantly observing the beauty of nature, this beauty would somehow become transmitted to the mind of the unborn baby within her womb and that baby would grow up to be a lover of beautiful things.

Pregnant or not, alone or not, take a glorious walk so that the beauty of the world (not necessarily nature) can be transmitted to your soul. It’ll learn to love the beautiful just as a baby does. ( I found this passage very enlightening.)

42.) Find a spot whilst on this glorious walk and sit down. Engage in stream of consciousness writing. Write whatever you feel passionate about, be it monkeys in the zoo or parasols in the rain, splattered with droplets descending from the skies above. You will be surprised at the well of honesty your voice possesses.

43.) If real life gets to be too much, play the board game Life. Get married, buy a house and add some kids to your mini car playing piece on that big old board. If that isn’t your game there’s always Parcheesi, Monopoly, Jenga and my personal favourite Clue.

44.) Draw a moustache and horns on people’s pictures in the newspaper. Make them downright hideous and laugh.

45.) Talk to an old friend and reminisce about the good old days even if you’re not old enough to properly call them the good old days.

46.) Write an open letter to yourself and tuck it away. Read it in a few years.

47.) Watch Sia’s Chandelier music video and appreciate the dancer’s fluidity and the simplistic visual artistry of the video as a whole. Allow your thoughts to mirror the same grace.

48.) Clean and organize your desk, closet or entire room. Put everything in its place. Do the same thing with people in your life.

49.) Take a quiz on where you ought to live. Look up the country or city and immerse yourself in a plan for a house or apartment there. Pick the wall colours and kitchen cabinets and where the furniture ought to go. (Do you believe in feng shui? Go for it.)

50.) Print out pictures of far off places that make you feel whole, like Mathew Street in Liverpool, Banff Alberta or castles in Ireland. Stick them together and stare at the board. Call it the Anywhere But Here Window and voila. You’re somewhere else for a while. When you feel better you will come back.

I sincerely hope these little cures help on a rainy day!

What are the things you do when you feel sad? Share them in a comment maybe, spread the cure and heal the world with happiness.

Image Sources: Google